When I tell people I’m autistic, there are typically two reactions: The blank stare or the “ah-ha” moment.
To the neurotypical, my autistic traits may seem invisible. I’m what people consider a late diagnosed autistic, someone diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in their late teens or adulthood.
Unlike what people may expect, getting diagnosed with both autism and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at 16 years old didn’t send me into a downward spiral but instead provided some resolution to the everyday struggles I thought were normal.
The best way to describe being neurodivergent, specifically with a late diagnosis, is like being thrown into a game you don’t know you’re playing. No one explains the rules, and the moment you catch on, the game and the rules change. People get upset when you’re not playing correctly and just assume you’ve played the game before or are just too lazy to try.
So you spend your life pretending you know what to do until you find a way to survive the game. It’s exhausting! and at times, it can seem hopeless.
The neurodivergent navigates the neurotypical world differently.
Now more than ever, the atypical is becoming more typical or at least more commonly termed. With the familiarization of these disabilities comes a strange impasse: people are more aware, but still somewhat callous when disabled people don’t fit the stereotypical profile of a disorder.
My experience of being neurodivergent isn’t the same as others. Autism, as with all neurodivergence disorders, is a spectrum, like a color wheel. No one diagnosis manifests the same way for everyone, but they share traits or shades of likeness.
One of the cool things about my neurodivergence is that it’s almost invisible in typical groups. Much like a chameleon, I was forced to hide in plain sight to survive. As a result, I’ve seen how ableism can be normalized without people knowing they’re engaging in prejudice.
My experience has made one thing clear- no one should have to feel alone because of their differences, and those who are different will always persevere and find a way.
“Neurodivergence” may seem like a new word because people often hear of specific diagnoses instead of the overall umbrella term.
Cleveland Clinic defines neurodivergent as “a nonmedical term that describes people whose brains develop or work differently for some reason.”
The conditions that fall into the neurodivergent umbrella include attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism spectrum disorder (ASD), dyslexia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia, and Down syndrome as stated by Pankhuree Vandana, M.D., a pediatric psychiatrist and medical director on Forbes Health.
Sunrise Amanecer elaborates by adding bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and others to the list.
People with ADHD may have a hard time regulating their focus on a subject and difficulty managing thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. It ranges from children to adults.
The University of Gothanburg explains that it wasn’t until 1997 when “the first meta-analysis on gender differences and ADHD was published (M. Gaub & C. Carlson).”
Symptoms of ADHD vary between the sexes and, as the National Library of Medicine has pointed out , “ADHD is diagnosed and treated more often in males than in females. Research on gender differences suggests that girls may be consistently underidentified and underdiagnosed because of differences in the expression of the disorder among boys and girls.”
This all affected my own diagnosis with ADHD. I’m not overly hyperactive and had only known about the male traits.
After a decent amount of research it started to make sense. Staying still is my kryptonite, hearing small noises while I’m trying to focus is the equivalent of someone yelling in my ear, and paying attention to stuff I find boring takes all my will power. All these traits are things I was shamed for in elementary school teachers. It was subconscious and repressed as me just needing to try harder. I had never considered another factor at play.
Understanding my ADHD has allowed me to find ways to cope. Listening to piano music while I work helps me focus; setting reminders on my phone, writing them on my hand, and talking out loud about ideas helps me organize my thoughts; walking around to center my thinking all help me manage my disability and use it to my advantage.
Autism spectrum disorder includes difficulty socializing, including a lack of understanding of social cues, repeated behaviors, troubles with speech including irregular patterns and being nonverbal, hyper-focusing, and sensory issues. The spectrum covers a range of difficulty with these skills.
Behavioral Innovations explains that while ASD presents differently in all cases, this is another disorder that varies in symptoms through sexes. Much like ADHD, diagnosis is harder to come by in women because the well-known traits are male-oriented. This often leads to the misdiagnosis and late diagnosis of autistic women.
Getting diagnosed with ASD was both harder and easier than facing I had ADHD. The process of diagnosis was a nightmare. I had to request the testing, and even then, it was a battle to prove I wasn’t lying.
Accepting my autism was a lot easier because that suspicion was already there. I had suspected it for a while, but the final indicator was a few of my autistic friends assuming I was already diagnosed. Besides already having a diverse friend group, my mother works with kids on the spectrum, so I didn’t view it as a negative thing.
It’s common to have more than one neurodivergent disorder. They are often bundled with others. For example, it’s common for people with ADHD to also have anxiety or depression. Being neurodivergent isn’t all negative; there is an upside.
Neurodivergents have advantages and strengths that most neurotypicals do not. It’s different for everyone, but I can hyperfocus (a prolonged, intense focus on a subject that piques my fancy) and easily memorize things..
Hyperfixations are also common with the diagnosis. Charlie Health explains it as “a complete obsession with or absorption into a particular task.” While they can be damaging to my ability to complete other tasks, my hyperfixation on ancient mythology has helped me in my literature classes.
In actuality, it’s a dopamine high of information. Neurotypicals have to work and pace themselves to absorb mass amounts of information and sustain focused learning. The neurodivergent will consume and retain everything absorbed until the hyperfixation is satiated and the subject matter is exhausted. The downside — the dopamine rush becomes all-consuming.
A hyperfixation is not the same as hyperfocusing. Hyperfixations are long-term subjects that the person will continue to study, while the ability to hyperfocus is essentially the intense obsession with a task until its completion.
These tasks or interests can be anything and everything. Someone may hyperfocus on the completion of an essay, baking, or sewing, while they might have a hyperfixation on something like trains or a historical event.
The neurodivergent umbrella includes dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia, which are all disabilities that affect one’s ability to read and write often affecting school performance. Students often need more time to comprehend, compose, and process new information.
Finally, Down syndrome is when a person is born with an extra chromosome, resulting in brain and body development changes. It may lead to mental and physical changes.
Forbes Health explains, “Neurodivergent individuals often experience differences in mental function, learning styles, sensory processing, communication styles, and behaviors. They may struggle with soft skills such as emotional intelligence, social interactions, or the ability to work effectively in a group. Other physical behaviors—such as standing too close to someone, speaking too loudly, or self-soothing actions like rocking or irregular hand movement—may also be present.”
All of this varies from person to person, but it’s important to understand the umbrella and all that it encompasses.
